So Smart They're Stupid

Top 5 Techy Home Appliances You'll Never Need


We at HomeSmart love the latest in home appliance technology.  When it comes to modern conveniences, nothing is too good to be true. We are all just waiting for the day when we can teleport to work, or turn on your furnace with just a thought. Why not bring on the advancements in science and make our world better, faster, and more efficient—right?

In order to stay one step ahead of the rest, companies need to have the latest, greatest product on the market. But let's be honest: when are some gizmos and gadgets just too high-tech for their own good? Here are the top 5 home appliances that are so smart, they're actually ridiculous.

#5. The Bosch TWK8631GB Styline Kettle
How do you brew a cup of tea? Boil the water, pour it over the tea bag, seep, and sip. But wait, there's more! With the Bosch Styline Kettle you can set 4 different temperature levels to get the perfect temperature for your morning tea or coffee: hot, a little less hot. . . what else is there?

New rule, if the name has more than 3 letters and numbers in it, it's too techy. Let's all just take a minute to think before buying. It's water, it gets hot, and it really shouldn't be any more complicated than that.

#4. Kenmore's 23102 Top Load Washer
Here is the problem with this washer—it's overly technical in ways that make no sense, yet it lacks basic usability. The washer settings make no sense. The cycle options to choose from include: Express, Casual, and Bulky Sheets.

The load size has options for Deep Fill and Extra Small, and oh the dials! One, two, buckle my shoe . . . there are dials for four different wash temperatures and for four different rinse options. With all the dials and overly specific options for washing your clothes, you would think this was a pretty high tech machine. It's in fact, quite the opposite.
This washer has the most outdated style of any washer on the market. With its manual selections, top-loading style, and old-fashioned pole agitator style, this washing machine has all of the confusion of technology while being ridiculously inefficient. You will save money on your initial purchase, but you will definitely pay for it every month with your water and electric bills.

#3. Fiber Optic Wallpaper
Come again? Fiber whadda-what? Fiber optic wallpaper is somewhat like traditional home interior wallpaper, except it has pretty sparkly lights shining through. It is pretty, and it comes in different colors and designs. But does it do anything? No. It just looks pretty. And costs a lot of money. And is anyone still decorating with wallpaper?

Fiber optic wallpaper is artistic and beautiful, which is wonderful. Technology doesn't always have to contribute anything other than that. But here is why it's stupid: fiber optics, whether they're used for lighting, energy or the internet, is an extremely energy efficient medium. So while they chose to brilliantly invent wallpaper made of fiber optic material, it is the least practical way to use fiber optics.

The wallpaper doesn't put off enough light to do anything more than just sparkle, so it can't replace the lighting in your home. And it doesn't create enough energy to produce anything at all. Check back in a few years; maybe it will be something worth buying then, but for now it's a waste of your cash.

#2. ICara iPod Toilet Paper Holder
Yeah, it's a thing. This iPod-compatible dock allows you to play your favorite tunes from four moisture-resistant speakers that include two tweeters and two woofers. It's compatible with all models of iPods and has an integrated bath tissue holder—thank goodness, because that is its main purpose after all.

Admittedly, consumers have given this product great reviews. However, we just don't see the need. Why spend extra money for something so silly? A waterproof radio in the shower makes sense, an adaptor for every room in your home, sure . . . but can't we stand to "go" at least a few minutes without some noise?

Buy it if you want, but please don't bring your iPod to the dinner table if you do.

#1. Nomos Touchscreen Faucet
The number one item on this list is the Nomos Touchscreen Faucet. Let's start with what's cool about this faucet. It allows you to set adjustments for water quantity and temperature, which allows you to be more eco-friendly. It's great for conserving water. It also will alert you if there is any problem, like a leakage. Those are the two benefits.
But here's why it's stupid: when you cook, sometimes you handle things contaminated with bacteria (such as E. coli). Usually, you can turn on the faucet and wash your hands with soap to keep from further contaminating your kitchen. But this faucet is more something to flaunt and less something that is functional.

Seems pricey for how little it does. Can you check your email or watch a TV show on the screen while you cook? And while it's great that it will alert you and control water flow, are there any plumbers who can fix this faucet? And finally—is a traditional faucet really that difficult to operate?

At the end of the day, modern advancements in technology are great. Even if they don't contribute great functions, they contribute with their ideas, and that's something worthwhile. There truly is something for everyone, and no matter how odd our world of gadgets gets, there will always be people happy to provide service for them.

At HomeSmart, we’re more than happy to come fix your furnace, water heater and other home appliances when you call us.  However, if your iPod toilet paper holder breaks, you’re on your own!

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